The Restaurant Guys

The Sex Life of Food: Romance, Ritual & What We Reveal at the Table | Bunny Crumpacker | Preview

The Restaurant Guys Episode 175

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0:00 | 10:49

This is a Vintage episode from 2006.

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Why This Episode Matters

  • The episode examines how food, sexuality, and culture have always been intertwined
  • It reframes restaurants not just as places to eat, but as stages where intimacy, power, and identity play out.
  • The conversation challenges assumptions about aphrodisiacs, gendered foods, and the social rituals that shape how we dine.
  • The episode challenges listeners to rethink how memory, status, and convenience foods quietly shape our relationships and our restaurant habits.

The Banter

A story about a proposal gone painfully wrong sets the tone as Mark Pascal and Francis Schott explore the unpredictable theater of romance in restaurants. From first dates to long-married couples who’ve forgotten how to talk, they reflect on what they've learned about human connection from a lifetime in the dining room.

The Conversation

Author and food historian Bunny Crumpacker talks about The Sex Life of Food: When Body and Soul Meet to Eat, a wide-ranging exploration of how food symbolism, cultural taboos, and dining rituals intersect with sexuality and identity. The discussion moves from aphrodisiac myths and gendered foods to class signals, fast food culture, and the emotional meaning behind what and how we eat. 

Timestamps

00:00 – Welcome to The Restaurant Guys
01:50 – Banter: Romance, proposals, and restaurant observations
08:35 – Bunny Crumpacker on the purpose of her book
15:02 – Aphrodisiacs, an-aphrodesiacs and food symbolism
17:43 – Class, culture, and how food defines us
23:06 – Convenience foods, restaurant meals and home cooking
32:22 – Wrap-up and final thoughts

Bio

Bunny Crumpacker is a columnist, food historian, and the author of 7 books including The Sex Life of Food: When Body and Soul Meet to Eat, a cultural exploration of the relationship between eating, identity, and intimacy.

Info

Bunny’s book: The Sex Life of Food: When Body and Soul Meet to Eat

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Francis

Good morning, mark.

Mark

Hey Francis.

Francis

How are you today?

Mark

I'm doing very well. I got an interesting show today.

Francis

Our show today is about the international language of love.

Mark

You speak the language of love. I

Francis

speak the language of love. Our guest later on is, is a woman named Bunny Crumpacker. She's the author of The Sex Life of Food. When Body and Soul Meet To Eat, it's a great hardcover book. We're gonna link you to how to Get It on our website. Listen to the show. Her book is fun and funny and sexy, and great food should be sexy and it's historical and broad ranging and, um. How could you not buy it with a title? There's actually a, a picture of a, a bare breasted woman holding a, an apple with this, with,

Mark

with one little bite out of it.

Francis

Yeah. And then, uh, she's in trouble. Huh. But anyway, uh, I think that that sex and food, romance and food are inextricably linked.

Mark

Uh, I think that especially when you start, when you talk about restaurants and romance and food, um, they're inextricably linked

Francis

and I, and we, we get to see a lot of mm-hmm. As more and more takes place in restaurants, I think it's a, we get to see, we get to go to a lot of weddings. We get to be present at a lot of proposals.

Mark

Proposals. We were just, uh, three days ago we were, we had a proposal in the restaurant.

Francis

We get to be present at a lot of first dates.

Mark

Mm-hmm.

Francis

My favorite, uh, first date story is I remember our friend Dave, who, and I hope Dave is listening, and he came in, with, this woman and I, and you knew Dave and you knew, his girlfriend

Mark

mm-hmm.

Francis

Or this woman he was going on a first date with, and I believe you walked up to them and said. Oh, this will never last. They're married now and have two kids.

Mark

I challenge them and they only have one kid.

Francis

I, they have one kid. I'm sorry.

Mark

I was just teasing.

Francis

And he, and he reminds you of that every day. I was tease, but that was their first date.

Mark

Yes. It was their absolute first date, and I was just teasing him and she's still too good for him.

Francis

You know what, it's, it's funny though because in restaurants you do get to see a lot of how people, how, how, how people. Interact. Mm-hmm. Like that. It's, it's a wonderful bird's eye view of, of, of how that things like that happen.

Mark

And I think you can really get a look into what people's relationships are when you're their waiter or their maitre d. There are people who come in and they, they can't help but hold hands and they can't help, but, but their eyes are glued on one another.

Francis

And there are others who come in and if, if, God forbid, the music should go off for five seconds, they'll be, they'll be like horrified at the deafening silence that is between,

Mark

and there are, there are people who have forgotten to talk to one another, forgotten how to do that.

Francis

I, I think that being in the restaurant business though, the, the, that we have so many talented young people that work for us and, and talented people our age that work for us. One of the things that you get being in the, in the restaurant industry is, especially on the high end, but in all restaurants, I think that restaurant people, the restaurant business draws a certain type of person, um. But also being in the restaurant and experiencing all the, being a party to all to high-end powerful business meetings. Mm-hmm. To romantic dinners, to, to watch the way different couples interact in a way that you're basically a fly on the wall. I think that really adds to people's, when you work in a restaurant, it adds their confidence. It lets them, you know, sort of see what works better with them. I will tell you that one of the most horrifying things in the world. I will always remember, it happens from time to time, but people who ask each other, a man who asks a woman to, to marry him in a restaurant,

Mark

oh,

Francis

if you get the staff involved, you better be sure the answer's gonna be yes. I have to say, I remember,

Mark

oh,

Francis

it

was,

Mark

it's so bad.

Francis

It was eight years ago at this point. You and I were both in the restaurant.

Mark

It's so bad

Francis

when it goes

Mark

wrong.

Francis

And this man, and this man had, um, had called us up. He said, he told us he was gonna ask his, his girlfriend to marry him. Um, we, he'd been in a couple times. We didn't really know him that well. And we gave him the best table in the house by the window. He gave the, this is a little cheesy, I think, but he gave the, he gave the ring to the waiter to put on the dessert plate.

Mark

I, I'm fine with that. Some,

Francis

yeah, whatever. Um, you know, it's better than a skywriter, you know, but whatever. So,

Mark

I don't know. I think a Sky Writer's kind of, kind of neat.

Francis

So the whole staff's like, oh, a guy on table 12 is gonna ask you. Maybe that's why

Mark

I'm married and you're not,

Francis

I can't afford a skywriter. Um, but so the, the whole staff knows this guy's gonna ask his girlfriend to marry him, right. He's at the window table. They start with champagne. They're having a great time. Mm-hmm. They're really having a great time.

Mark

They, they're definitely having a, an enjoyable evening.

Francis

And, you know, you've seen enough engagements. You know how this goes down, right? The rain comes out, the waiter presents the food. The captain stands by with the, uh, with a new bottle of champagne to pour.

Mark

She squeals. She

Francis

cries. She, she cries, but she still crying.

Mark

Yeah. Then she stops crying, usually.

Francis

No, she's, yeah. Right. But this one's still crying and she's crying and crying,

Mark

crying, crying.

Francis

And then they're talking. Now he's crying.

Mark

Oh boy.

Francis

And the captain is just pop the champagne. You know, he could've put the cork back in the house. I

Mark

was about to say, sure. I can put the cork back in the champagne

now.

Francis

And, um, literally he just, he just, you've sort of figured out what was going on. And then ca I watched that. We, mark and I were like, looking to be, you know, go over Congratulations. Sure.

Mark

Congratulations

Francis

for some champagne. And we, and we watched the sommelier there with the champagne. Who slowly takes steps backwards,

Mark

kind of back steps his way away from

Francis

the table slowly as if to not scare a bear. We all sort of fade away.

Mark

Champagne. Anyone? We have an open bottle here.

Francis

Oh yeah.

Mark

It's, it's really c

Francis

Monica goes around. No, but then she got up and left

Mark

Uhhuh,

Francis

Oh, I was just, I, we, mark and I wanted to go over and sit down at the table and cry with him and pour the champagne, but we suddenly,

Mark

let's eat. Come on, let's eat pal. What do you say if that's, it's, that's a tough way for that to go down.

Francis

That was a tough one,

Mark

but you know, it, it. Given that sometimes it goes awry when, when you propose in a restaurant and you don't know that what the answer's going to be. I think that a, a, a restaurant can be a very, very romantic place. Yes. And one of the reasons that it's a very romantic place is there are no interruptions. There is no telephone, there are no children asking you for more milk. It's very private. It can be if you want it to be,

Francis

but you can't like grab each other and make love on the floor.

Mark

Very personal. Yeah. But I have four kids. I, I'm not, that's, I'm not, I'm not having it. Okay. Unless I'm out to a restaurant that's, that's as close as I'm gonna get at that, at that point. Um, it, it's just, it's just a great place to go and just be focused on one another.

Francis

But, but one of the things that, that's interesting that we're gonna talk about later that she covers in this book is, um, different kinds of food and you need to be careful mm-hmm. Because, well, not careful, you just do whatever you want, but, um, you know, going out to this. Big sumptuous feast is not necessarily the most romantic thing, depending on where you want the night to go afterwards.

Mark

Right. I have the lasagna and the sausage. That doesn't always

Francis

work. Exactly. Um, you know, the romantic dinners are generally there are afro aphrodisia foods. Is that a word? I think

Mark

it is today.

Francis

Okay. There are foods that are not, that are, are known to be aphrodisiacs, but what are they, they're like a little piece of chocolate. Mm-hmm. They are, um, oysters and shrimp and shellfish. Mm-hmm.

Mark

Things that don't fill you up.

Francis

Things that don't fill you up and, and things that are supposed to have, you know, chemical properties of being aphrodisiacs. But it's also, the idea is to have spicy food, light food, sometimes sweet food. Um, but you know, I I, I find sometimes people go awry, like when they go out on Valentine's Day and you have that big dinner.

Mark

Mm-hmm.

Francis

And it's just, it doesn't, it doesn't leak.

Mark

Well, I, I'll tell you my, it is, it is my favorite place to go have a romantic evening is, is to go to a restaurant. And whether you go and do go someplace else afterwards or before, or whether it's dancing or, or, or whatever, restaurants have that intimacy, restaurants have that, that place where someone is gonna take care of you, someone is going to bring you everything you need. And you can focus on your partner,

Francis

and it's also a time for you to just talk with your partner. Mm-hmm. You go see a movie, you go see a show, you go hear a band. Right. The two of you are looking at a third thing.

Mark

Mm-hmm.

Francis

The nice thing about dinner and the nice thing about dancing is you guys look at each other and see, I like ballroom dancing. You know, I think that's like, like. Swing and Ginter. Well, that's,

Mark

I mean, that's very sensual as well, you know, dancing with your partner.

Francis

It's you and them. Anyway, uh, when we come back, we're gonna be talking with Bunny Crumb Packer. She's the author of The Sex Life of Food. When Body and Soul Meet to Eat, you're listening to the Restaurant Guys, This is Mark and Francis, the restaurant guys from Katherine Lombardi and Stage Left Restaurant in downtown New Brunswick. And our guest today is Bunny Crumb Packer. Bunny's been a professional caterer editor, newspaper columnist, and school public relations officer. She's also the author of two books based on food and recipe pamphlets issued from 1875 to 1950, A Chronicle of American Cooking in those years. So a bit of a historian as well. Um. And her current book is called The Sex Life of Food Racy Title Bunny.

Bunny

Well, it's a fun title.

Francis

So, so sex sells and, uh, and, uh, I read your book and how could you not with a name like that? Just pick it up. and I love the book, but you talk about a lot more than just, um, sex and food. Where did the title come from? What's your book about?

Bunny

Well, thank you for everything you've said so far. The title came from inside my head. It didn't, it it, it's because the book is about, even though it's not always about sex, there are 18 chapters and five of them are about sex, but there's such a, a link between food and sex. It never goes away, and everything that, that we talk about. In relation to food has sex in it somewhere.